Have you ever heard the response of “(s)he won’t let me” when inviting someone to a social gathering or event? Meaning, they use their significant other as their reason for not accepting your invitation.
Whenever I hear this response, it baffles me. What do you mean they won’t let you? Do they let you go to the bathroom? Do they let you talk to strangers without getting their permission?
Don’t get me wrong…checking in with your significant other before making plans is thoughtful. It shows that you respect your time together and want to be mindful of anything that may affect that. But even if they ask you not to accept an invitation, it’s still your choice.
Let’s get real here – no one else needs to let you do anything. You’re an adult, and you have the right to be you without anyone’s permission. The question is…does your partner encourage or discourage your freedom of self-expression?
The sense of freedom you feel in your romantic relationship has a HUGE influence on the overall quality of your life, so I strongly encourage you to take a close look at that question.
If your partner encourages you to freely express yourself and supports your needs and desires, high five to you! And hopefully, you do the same for him/her.
If your partner discourages your self-expression – by dismissing your feelings or by not honoring who you are – it might be time for you to embrace your right to freedom.
More often than not, couples start out having common interests and goals, and it’s easy to respect each other’s lifestyles because they’re similar.
Over time, however, many couples grow in different directions because their individual interests, goals and lifestyles change.
Sometimes, this works and the couple can still maintain a healthy relationship despite their differences. But often times, it doesn’t, and couples either stay together even though they don’t want to, or they end their relationship.
No matter the circumstances, if you’re in a romantic relationship, you want it to be healthy and loving, right? And if it’s not, you have the freedom to move it in a different direction.
If you want to improve the health of your relationship, let your partner know.
- First get clear on what types of changes you’re seeking.
- Be willing to accept responsibility for your part.
- Prepare yourself to communicate your needs to your partner in a respectful manner.
This carefully considered approach will yield much better results than simply blurting out what’s wrong.
If your partner isn’t receptive to your concerns, or tries to blame the relationship issues on you, let him or her know that the quality of your relationship is important, and ask if they’re willing to engage in couples’ counseling.
If your partner still dismisses the issues, and tries to simply pretend that everything is fine, it may be time for you to make your own decision about honoring yourself and what you need in your relationship.
You don’t need anyone else’s permission to be you. If you haven’t yet given yourself that permission, please do so right now.
You deserve a healthy and loving relationship. If you don’t feel that way in yours, please find a way to make healthy changes.
You have the freedom to live a life that is yours, not a life that someone else dictates for you. If you haven’t yet exercised that freedom, I encourage you to begin today.
If you feel stuck, and don’t know where to begin, please know that you’re not alone! I, along with countless others, have been there. And I, along with countless others, have learned how to change my relationship and life for the better.
If I can do it, you can do it. And I am here to support you in any way I can.
Stay tuned for more mindful messages. Giving you helpful tips and exercises to improve the quality of your life and relationships!
With love and support,
P.S. If you’re feeling confused about your relationship, and you’re looking for clarity and peace of mind about what to do next, contact me here to schedule your free relationship strategy session. I would love to support you with making healthy changes.