Sometimes You Need to Press PauseIs It Time to Hit the Pause Button?

As we move into a new month and a fresh theme for these mindful messages, I’d like to ask you to take a moment to check in with how you’re feeling. I know how confusing and stressful it is to be in a romantic relationship that’s lacking a sense of harmony and connection!

The purpose of these messages is to provide insight, tools and inspiration to help you move through these challenging times. We ALL need support in our lives, especially when we feel distant from our romantic partners. After all, your romantic relationship is designed to add a sense of stability and security to your life, right?

When that stability feels uncertain and you find yourself feeling lost and hopeless, it might be time to hit the pause button.

As I’ve mentioned before, the quality of your relationship with yourself greatly influences the choices you make and whether or not you stay true to yourself. So it’s important to make time for reflection.

This requires you to slow down, clear the unnecessary appointments from your schedule and make time for yourself. More often than not, what needs your time and attention are the issues that are causing you pain. Here are a few questions to ponder:

what are you feeling confused about in your relationship?
what is causing you the most stress in your life right now?
what’s stopping you from changing the conditions that are causing confusion and
   creating stress?

Yes…these are deep questions…they’re not meant to be simple. They’re meant to stir the part of you that wants to get through these challenges. And that starts with a willingness to face the issues that are all too easy to avoid.

You might be at a point in your relationship where you’re thinking about calling it quits. Or maybe you’re feeling extremely frustrated with how it’s going, but you want to make it work. Either way, you need clarity.

Even if you and your partner don’t stay together forever, if and when you make the decision to go your separate ways, you can still do it with love and integrity. But if you’re feeling anger and resentment toward your partner, parting with love and integrity may seem impossible.

I’m here to tell you that it IS possible. You are capable of handling whatever you truly set your heart and mind to, no matter how daunting it may seem in this moment.

This requires a deep level of self-reflection and honesty. This requires getting real with your pain and a willingness to accept responsibility for your part in creating that pain. With the exception of physical pain, no one can hurt you unless you let them.

If you’re feeling hurt by your partner, there’s something within you asking for your attention and love. Maybe it’s a lingering sense of rejection or abandonment from childhood and/or former relationships. It’s up to you to discover the root of your pain.

Once you discover that root, you don’t need to stay there. Now you get to use that valuable discovery as a tool for healing old wounds and moving away from old patterns.

This is one of the many necessary steps toward handling your romantic relationship with love and integrity. Completing this step will enable you to communicate with your partner in a way that will help the two of you figure out whether or not you can make your relationship work.

And if your partner isn’t willing or able to communicate with the same love and integrity, you will still gain the clarity you need to decide whether or not to stay in this relationship.

This is hard stuff…I know! I can’t make it easy for you, but I can certainly help you feel supported and understood during a very difficult time. Please honor yourself enough to accept this support and get yourself to a better place. You deserve to feel happy!

You are always welcome to schedule a free strategy session with me. I would love to connect with you and support you in any way I can.

Stay tuned for more mindful messages. Giving you helpful tips and exercises to improve the quality of your life and relationships!

With love and support,

Catherine Dietz
Healthy Relationship Coach