In the United States, the 4th of July is a big holiday that represents freedom and independence. As much as I love having a “reason” to celebrate, freedom is worth celebrating every day, and we don’t need a designated holiday to enjoy its benefits.
On an individual level, what does freedom really mean? International bestselling author and spiritual teacher Don Miguel Ruiz says: “The freedom we are looking for is the freedom to be ourselves.” This is SO true, right? Who doesn’t benefit from feeling free in just being themselves?
In fact, you’re already exercising this freedom daily…you just may not realize or remember that. Every decision you make – whether it’s as simple as what you’re eating for breakfast, or as complicated as whether or not your romantic relationship is worth continuing – is made through your freedom of choice.
Even though not every choice feels liberating, the fact remains, you have the freedom to choose whatever your heart desires…which begs the question: “Does your relationship embody freedom?”
In other words, do you feel liberated in your relationship? Or do you feel stuck and stifled from your true desires?
Of course, there are always phases in our lives in which we feel stuck, often when we’re in a state of transition from one chapter to the next…when trying to move from the pain of our past into the freedom of our future. This is natural, normal and part of the process.
However, when a ‘phase’ turns into something more permanent – and we can’t seem to let go of what no longer serves us – the pain continues to worsen. And this is when recognizing and applying your freedom of choice will either lead you in a new direction, or continue you down a path of confinement and difficulties.
This applies to every area of your life, but for the purpose of this exercise, our focus is on your romantic relationship. In an effort to provide an avenue through which you can identify how your relationship contributes to your sense of freedom, or lack thereof, here are a few questions to consider:
- Do you wish you had a more loving connection with your partner?
- Do you feel frustrated about the current state of your relationship?
- Do you question where your relationship is headed?
- Are you tired of sacrificing yourself and not having your needs met?
- Are you unsure about what to do to improve the quality of your relationship?
These aren’t easy questions, but they’re designed for a simple answer of “yes” or “no”. If your answer to most of these questions is “yes”, I feel your pain…I’ve been there! And if your answer to most of these questions is “no”, you’re either in a solid relationship (yay!)…or, if that’s not the case, you’ve learned to numb yourself to the reality of an unfulfilling relationship (and I’ve been there too).
The beauty of this exercise is that it quickly demonstrates the overall quality of your relationship and gives you an opportunity to practice your freedom of choice about what to do next.
If you want to make your relationship work, you can exercise your freedom by committing to do everything within your power to make that happen. If you don’t know where to begin, exercise your freedom to seek support from a professional who can help you.
If you’re ready to let the relationship go, you can exercise your freedom by committing to do so with integrity, honesty and respect. Even if a romantic relationship doesn’t last forever, it – and the people in it – still deserve honesty and respect.
Clearly, it takes two to tango. But even if your partner isn’t yet willing to participate in making healthy changes, you can still take the lead on your heart’s desires.
If you want your life to embody freedom, you must exercise your freedom of choice…and choose wisely. Your experience reflects your actions, and you deserve to have an amazing life!
Stay tuned for more mindful messages. Giving you helpful tips and exercises to improve the quality of your life and relationships!
With love and support,
P.S. You are always free to contact me for a 30-minute relationship strategy session. It’s very liberating…and helpful!