I hope you’re feeling inspired by the powerful energy of this new year…it’s gonna be a great one! Are you ready to make some healthy changes in your life? Is the quality of your romantic relationship one of the things you want to improve?
Nobody wants to stay in an unfulfilling relationship, but many people do anyway. Most people have ideas about how they could make improvements, but fail to follow through with positive action. It sounds a little crazy, but it’s true.
I know how this feels, because I was once there myself. And now I’m asking you: if you’re struggling in your relationship and you know you want to make changes, what’s stopping you?
If you’re like most people, FEAR is your main obstacle.
- fear of the unknown (this is the biggie!)
- fear of how long it might take
- fear of change bringing something worse than the status quo
- fear of failing to achieve the desired outcome
- fear of unintentionally hurting people in the process
- the list goes on…
Feeling anxiety and fear is a normal response to change, so please know you’re not alone! BUT fear doesn’t have to hold you back! There are ways you can ease and/or eliminate your fears so that you can take action toward your desired changes.
First off, it’s okay to acknowledge that you have fears! A lot of people think being afraid is a sign of weakness, but that’s only true if you allow it to control you. So go ahead and admit that you’re afraid…and realize that the fear is there because it’s trying to protect you from pain.
You’ve most likely been hurt in the past, so whenever you’re challenged with making a decision about the unknown, fear will creep in to save you. Your mind conjures up fear because it thinks it’s doing you a favor by scaring you into staying where you are. If you don’t know where you’re going, and you’re already here, at least you know where you are…right?
But then you have to ask yourself if the fear is really warranted. The ‘funny’ thing about FEAR is that it’s usually just False Evidence Appearing Real.
Think about it…how many times have you made up stories in your head after assuming the worst about an unknown, only to find that none of your fears came true and you were stressed out over nothing? This is exactly what fear does…it stresses you out and keeps you from taking action toward your goal.
Understanding where fear comes from and why it’s there is helpful. But what else can you do? If change is an inevitable part of life, and change often causes fear, how can you face your fears and choose to make changes anyway?
There are many ways to calm and/or eliminate your fears, and it’s well worth your time and effort to learn what works best for you. I invite you to start with these basic ideas that will help you start moving through the obstacle of fear and feel better prepared for change:
- keep your eye on the ball (the intended result)
- adopt consistent practices to build your inner strength to keep moving forward
- recognize that your decisions always involve both a practical component and an emotional component (this helps you from going crazy with the different voices in your head)
- avoid beating yourself up; instead, pat yourself on the back for every little step you take toward your goal
- talk with someone who you can trust, who can remind you how worthy you are of a great life, and who has successfully navigated through difficult changes themselves
These are pretty basic ideas, I know…but I also know that getting back to the basics is essential when faced with fear and anxiety about your challenges!
If you’ve been wanting to make changes in your romantic relationship, and you’re tired of your fears holding you back, it’s time to ask yourself who you really want to be in this moment…which will affect the rest of your life.
Allow yourself to grow through this challenge. Open your heart and mind to new possibilities. Know that you are capable of handling whatever happens. Your fears may tell you otherwise, but you can tell your fears to take a hike!
I know this isn’t easy…but neither is staying in an unfulfilling relationship. I am here to support you in whatever way I can, and I encourage you to take at least one small step toward the changes your desire…and then another…and another.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed and have no idea where to start, please take advantage of the resources available to you. In this day and age, there are SO MANY resources at the tips of your fingers!
You are always invited to take advantage of a free 30-minute relationship strategy session with me. Simply contact me here to schedule a time that works for you.
Or…if you’re not ready for that, order a book that speaks to you, call a trusted friend who can support you, schedule some alone time to reconnect with your soul. Do something…anything…that will bring you one step closer to where you want to be.
You deserve a healthy romantic relationship…you deserve an amazing life!
Stay tuned for more mindful messages. Giving you helpful tips and exercises to improve the quality of your life and relationships!
With love and support,
Healthy Relationship Coach