In the midst of a holiday season designed for love, light and celebration, many of us wind up feeling exhausted from spending too much time, energy and money on the ‘Hallmark idea’ of what a perfect holiday season should be.
While the sentiment is appreciated, trying to make something go a certain way, and having attachments to a specific outcome, can sometimes set you up for disappointment and diminish the meaning of this season.
This week, my goal is to help you stay focused on the true intention for the holidays. This can be especially challenging if your romantic relationship is lacking harmony, but it can be done. Are you ready? It’s all about getting in touch with what matters.
Getting in Touch with the Season
In addition to the specific holidays of Christmas, Hanukkah or whatever your tradition may be, this time of year is also a season of moving from the current year to a new year, longer hours of darkness instead of daylight, and colder weather that keeps most of us inside more.
By design, life’s cycles give us seasons and opportunities to slow down, reflect on our circumstances, see how we’re currently showing up, and be open and willing to learn how we can e x p a n d our expression of life into something even greater.
Much like a romantic relationship, life should not only be lived, it should be celebrated. Your life and relationships are not meant to just happen without you consciously taking part in their journey. They’re meant to be lived with purpose and joyful participation.
So, as we move through the rest of December and get in touch with the true meaning of this holiday season – love, light and celebration – let us gracefully let go of the thoughts and patterns that inhibit us from receiving the gifts that Life is always offering.
Getting in Touch with Your Habits and Patterns
We all have habits and patterns. Some habits are healthy and enhance your quality of life, such as brushing your teeth, maintaining a gratitude practice, date and/or family night, thinking before you speak, etc.
And some habits are not so healthy and diminish your quality of life, such as eating unhealthy foods, a sedentary lifestyle, complaining, blaming others for your pain, etc.
Generally speaking, when you’re in a healthy routine of practicing good habits, you feel better about your life. And vice versa…when you’re stuck in a rut of bad habits, life feels heavy and stressful. So, of course, you want to be in a healthy routine as often as possible, right?
Easier said than done, I know. We ALL have ups and downs when it comes to sticking to healthy routines, no matter how mindful we are. The key is to focus on the ups as much as possible and pull yourself out of the downs as quickly as you can.
Yes, when you have a bad day, sometimes you just need to allow yourself to feel the frustration and give yourself the time and space to acknowledge and honor your feelings. But it’s best to not stay stuck in those feelings for too long.
Getting in Touch with Life
Life gives to you what you give to life. When you’re in a state of appreciation and focusing on what brings you joy, you can’t help but feel more alive and in celebration of life.
When you’re in a funk and focusing on what’s bothering you, you will only experience more of the same. These not-so-good days are a part of life and can’t always be avoided. They can, however, be acknowledged and appreciated for what they bring to you.
The trials and tribulations in your life are here for a reason. They give you the information you need to learn from your pain and mistakes. And you get to use that awareness to make different choices that will improve the quality of your life moving forward.
Some lessons are quick and take a minimal amount of effort to learn…such as, when I touch something hot, it burns, so I learn not to touch things that are hot.
Other lessons take a bit longer to learn and we end up getting burned many times before we finally move away from the source of pain. Whether that source of pain is unhealthy relationships, unfulfilling jobs, bad habits, etc., we always have the freedom to transform those experiences into something greater.
Getting in Touch with Yourself
What shows up in your life is greatly influenced by your relationship with yourself. So it’s extremely important to examine your habits and thought patterns with a willingness to change the ones that are not supporting your desire for an amazing life.
Why? Because life is a gift, and the way you choose to live it determines how much of this gift you’re willing to accept. When you let go of what no longer nurtures your soul, you increase your capacity to receive more of the gifts that do nurture your soul.
You deserve to have an amazing life. And in order for you to experience this amazing life, you must believe you are worthy of it. If someone gave you a gift, but you didn’t accept it, you wouldn’t get to experience the benefits of the gift, right?
Always remember that you and the quality of your life matter. You are loved simply because you exist. Even when you don’t feel loveable, you are still loved. You are an expression of life and you add value to our world.
Also remember that love is the light of your soul, and it gives you the power to change your life for the better, no matter the current status of your relationships with others. So focus on the relationship with yourself and make it the best it can be!
Treat yourself the way you want to be treated by others. Appreciate yourself the way you want to be appreciated. Love yourself the way you want to be loved.
You have the power…it’s up to you how you use it.
Stay tuned for more mindful messages and other valuable resources – giving you helpful insights, tips and exercises to improve the quality of your life and relationships!
With love and support,
Healthy Relationship Coach
Licensed Heal Your Life® Coach