I recently went out of town to surprise my mom for her 75th birthday, and when I returned to San Diego, I was amazed at how MUCH the trees around my home had grown. Spring is definitely a season of renewal!
Nature has its cycles of rest and growth for good reason…and so do we! In honor of the first day of spring, I’d like to plant a few seeds of inspiration for taking action toward the health of your romantic relationship.
Consciously planting positive seeds for improving the quality of your relationship is a powerful practice! AND…it’s important to remember that if you’re holding on to any deep-rooted beliefs or resentments, they may be interfering with your goal.
So what can you do about this? How can you harness your thoughts and actions in a way that works toward the health of your romantic relationship, instead of away?
First of all, you need to understand that it takes courage, strength and commitment to make lasting changes. If you want the current state of your relationship to improve, you must be willing to embrace the growth that’s required to make this happen.
Living in a state of frustration, anger or resentment will feed the discord in your relationship and give it the fuel it needs to keep growing, even if you’re not doing it on purpose.
On a good day, maybe you can willfully uproot these weeds from your relationship in the hope of them never growing back. But if they’re already deeply rooted, it will take more than a good day.
But don’t let that discourage you…as George Washington said: “Liberty, when it begins to take root, is a plant of rapid growth.”
So how can you liberate yourself from painful patterns and turn them into powerful perceptions to use to your advantage?
One of the best ways to nourish your growth is to stay focused on the result you’d like to achieve, not what you’re trying to avoid.
Whatever you put your attention on grows, so instead of dwelling on what you don’t want, move away from the negative, and put your attention on what you do want.
Instead of fueling the negative thoughts by thinking and saying:
- “I don’t want to be in this relationship.”
- “Things will never change.”
- “I made a commitment, now I have to stay no matter what.”
Transform these thoughts into powerful patterns by thinking and saying:
- “I deserve to have a relationship in which there is mutual respect and honesty.”
- “I see my patterns, and I choose to make changes.”
- “I made a commitment to a healthy relationship, not to sacrificing my needs and desires.”
This certainly doesn’t happen overnight, and it requires patience and persistence. But if you stick with it, your efforts will be well worth it!
If you feel like you’re already at your wits’ end and don’t have the time or patience to let things unfold in a new direction, I invite you to look at your options. You could:
- get clear on what you need and take action toward positive changes (this is helpful even if you decide to leave the relationship); or
- keep things the way they are and remain frustrated indefinitely; or
- leave the relationship feeling defeated and resentful
Which option sounds best to you? If this feels daunting, that’s totally normal, but please don’t let that stop you!
You have an infinite amount of resources to support you, so find one that feels right for you, and give yourself permission to get the help you need. You deserve to be in a healthy relationship.
When you can see that the pain in your relationship can serve as a HUGE catalyst for bringing out your best, you are empowering yourself! Is this your season of growth?
Stay tuned for more mindful messages. Giving you helpful tips and exercises to improve the quality of your life and relationships!
With love and support,
P.S. If you’re looking for the resources that can help you reach your relationship goals, I’d be happy to share what has helped me. Feel free to contact me here and we can set up a time to connect.