Do you trust yourself? If you have a hard time trusting others and/or feel stuck in a relationship you don’t want to be in, it’s worth asking yourself that question…because you may be the person you have a hard time trusting.
And in asking yourself that question, I encourage you to consider these additional questions to help you get clear on what trust means to you:
- What does trust mean to you? The dictionary defines trust as: “reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, surety, etc. of a person or thing”. How do you define trust?
- How do you feel when you trust someone or something? Safe, secure, protected, loved? Use your own words to describe this.
- How do you feel when you don’t trust someone or something? Unsure, vulnerable, anxious, on-guard, unsettled? Again, use your own words.
I admit that I haven’t always trusted myself. For many years of my life, I ignored my intuition, was dishonest with myself and others, and as a result, made poor choices.
This wasn’t intentional or malicious on my part – I just didn’t yet believe in myself and my own worth, and I was doing the best I could with the knowledge I had. Thankfully, my inner voice continued to get louder and louder, and I finally learned how to listen.
“Trust the wisdom of your soul. It knows the way.” Unknown author
During that time, the feelings of instability and pain in my life, especially in my romantic relationship, were telling me LOUD AND CLEAR that I had to quit running from my problems and start facing my fears. But that was way too scary at the time!
I didn’t know how to face my fears. I didn’t know how to make positive changes. I didn’t know how to trust myself.
So how did I move through that fear? How did I find the courage to quit running? How did I learn to trust myself?
From Fear to Faith
On some level, I knew from the start that, when I met my former husband, I was getting involved in an unhealthy relationship. But I was so insecure at the time, and getting attention from a man (even though it wasn’t always healthy attention) made me feel wanted and important.
That soon turned into a committed relationship, followed by years of unhealthy patterns and emotional abuse. The fear from my insecurities was so strong that I wasn’t willing to listen to the deeper part of me that was telling me how valuable I am and that I deserved much better.
When the pain of staying in that relationship eventually outweighed the fear of leaving it, the wisdom of my soul was right there to guide me. I stopped resisting what I already knew, and I allowed myself to be guided by that wisdom.
I knew I had to stop listening to what everyone on the outside was telling me, and start listening to what the voice on the inside was telling me. And even though that decision felt empowering, it was not easy!
I had been stuck in my own unhealthy patterns for a long time, and now it was time to break through those patterns and create new ones in their place. I knew that, if I wanted different results, I couldn’t keep using the same approach and “solutions” that had never worked before.
Creating new beliefs and patterns that taught me how to trust and believe in myself took time, patience, diligence and many “teachers”. And it was WELL worth it. As I opened my heart to listening to the wisdom of my soul, I was naturally led to the right books, workshops, counselors, coaches, and other valuable resources.
An Ever-Evolving Path
I’ve been listening to my inner voice for over 14 years now, and I continue to learn how to trust myself more and more and more. I sometimes still get triggered by people or situations that temporarily cause feelings of self-doubt, but I see that I am able to move through those times with much more confidence and grace, and in far less time than I used to.
You too have this inner voice – it’s known as your soul, and it knows way more about the real you than anyone else does. I invite you to notice this voice, acknowledge it and listen to its wisdom. You’ll know you’re listening when you feel more at peace with yourself.
Underneath the falsity of human conditioning, we’re designed to learn and operate from the truth of who we really are, and when we do, we feel much more at peace with ourselves and our life experience.
The truth of who you really are is this: you are valuable just as you are, and you are worthy of love, peace and joy in your life! You’re awesome and you are here for a reason. Please honor that truth, believe in that truth and learn to trust it.
Are You Experiencing a Wake-Up Call?
If you’re in a relationship you don’t want to be in (like I was), and you find yourself beating yourself up with thoughts of, ‘How did I let myself get here in the first place? And how can I trust myself moving forward?’ (like I did), this is a wake-up call to help you get in touch with your truth.
If you feel like you’ve lost trust in your ability to make healthy and wise choices for yourself, and you’d like guidance on your self-trust journey, I’d love to support you! Contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org for more information – I am happy to answer any questions you have.
If your heart is saying ‘yes’ to this idea, trust it. And love yourself enough to learn how to trust yourself and your ability to handle whatever comes your way. You can do it!
My specialty is teaching women how to tap into the wisdom of their heart, gain the clarity, confidence and courage to speak their truth, and either reconnect with their partner in a way that feels good, or gracefully let go of a relationship that no longer serves its purpose.
Stay tuned for more mindful messages and other valuable resources – giving you helpful tips and exercises to improve the quality of your life and relationships!
With love and support,
Healthy Relationship Coach
Licensed Heal Your Life® Coach