Self Love Requires CourageHaving the Strength to Be Who You Are

As we move through the ‘month of love’, my goal is to share ideas that will inspire you to honor the various forms of love in your life even if your romantic relationship isn’t currently thriving.

Last week, I shared some tips on how to access the invaluable gift of self-love. Learning to love yourself is certainly not a new idea. Yet, despite its life-enhancing and stress-busting benefits, it’s still disregarded by many of us and viewed as foolish or self-centered.

Beneath all of the layers of your own self-criticism and the criticism of others is the real you. Having the strength to be this real you, regardless of what other people think, requires self-love. And self-love requires courage.

Based on our upbringing and the false beliefs from which we operate, many of us find it easier to criticize ourselves than we do to encourage ourselves. This is especially true when in a romantic relationship that feels less than harmonious.

But your inner-champion knows you’re already valuable exactly as you are! And you can awaken that inner-champion through the practice of self-love. Like many of my clients, you may be surprised at just how powerful this tool can be.

If you haven’t yet learned what it feels like to truly love and accept yourself, despite your so-called ‘flaws’, doing so now will seem foreign…at first. But just like learning anything new and unfamiliar, in the beginning:

it feels awkward and unattainable
we doubt our ability to learn it
we’re quick to say “why can’t this be easier?”

And just like learning ANY developed skill, it takes:

a willingness to learn
patience
practice, practice, practice

When you were a baby learning to walk, you probably fell dozens of times before you took your first step. You kept falling, but you kept getting up to try again. There was something inside of you that wanted to walk so badly…and failure was not an option!

That’s your inner-champion…the part of you that keeps moving you in the direction you want to go, despite the obstacles.

Think about some of the other things you’ve learned that were awkward in the beginning, but got easier over time. Maybe you even thought afterwards: “I don’t know why I imagined that was so hard in the first place!”

Here are a few things to try this week to awaken your inner-champion. You’ll get to strengthen your practice of self-love and try different techniques to see what works best for you:

  • As you get ready for your day each morning (consistency is key!), look at yourself in the mirror, directly into your eyes, and say:

          “You are valuable. You are amazing. And I love you!”

  • When your inner-critic protests with “this is nonsense”, or distracts you with “look at those wrinkles”, gently respond with something like: “Thank you for your opinion, but I’m okay. I’m trying something new for myself and I am safe.”
  • As you get more comfortable with the practice, you can even add a big smile or a playful wink (your inner-champion LOVES that).

In addition, take 10 minutes each day to write down at least 5 things you appreciate about yourself, such as:

– I have a good sense of humor
– I am willing to try new things
– I am a supportive friend
– I am kind and trustworthy
– I love to cook

Whatever rings true for you. If you have a hard time, remember the things your family and friends have complimented you on. I feel confident that you have MANY valuable traits to acknowledge.

These simple actions will take less than 15 minutes of your day. If you feel like you’re already tight on time, consider watching less television, logging off social media a bit sooner, or setting your alarm 15 minutes earlier. The benefits you’ll receive will be well worth your efforts!

Stay tuned for more mindful messages. Giving you helpful tips and exercises to improve the quality of your life and relationships!

With love and support,

Catherine Dietz
Healthy Relationship Coach

P.S. Practice an act of self-love today and contact me for your free relationship strategy session. Just 30 minutes of your time could be the beginning of life-long positive changes!