In honor of the 4th of July – and liberty and justice for all – this month’s mindful message is all about freedom! And more specifically, how you can apply it to the way you feel about, and operate in, your romantic relationship.
On an individual level, what does freedom mean to you? Whatever your answer may be, it has a direct influence on the choices you make. And the choices you make have a direct influence on the quality of your relationship and its future.
Even though there’s no way to be absolutely certain about the future, there is a way to feel confident about your current choices and how they sway whether you live happily or unhappily ever after.
Exercising Your Freedom of Choice
The truth is, you’re already exercising your freedom of choice every single day…you just may not realize or remember that.
Every decision you make, whether it’s as simple as what you’re eating for breakfast or as complicated as whether or not you’re with the right life partner, is made through your freedom of choice.
Even though not every choice feels liberating, the fact remains, you have the freedom to choose whatever your heart desires. And if you’re not listening to your heart’s desires, chances are, you’re feeling anything but free.
- Do you feel stuck in your relationship?
- Do you feel confused about whether or not you’re with the right partner?
- Do you long for a deeper connection, but ignore it?
If so, these feelings are ‘red flags’ that something is amiss.
The reason something is amiss is because you’re feeling one way, but acting another. To put it bluntly (but with a lot of love behind it), you’re out of integrity with yourself…and you’re most likely suffering as a result.
Believe me, I get it! Been there, done that…and more than once. What I discovered from those experiences though, and what has brought me to the place of greater freedom I stand in today, is knowing and accepting that the only person who can control the quality of my life is me!
The Quality of Your Life is in Your Hands
If you’ve been blaming your partner (or others) for what’s not working in your life, it’s time to stop. It’s time to let go of self-sabotaging patterns and behavior and accept responsibility for your choices. It’s time to step into your Greatness.
Instead of saying or thinking things like, “If you were different, I would feel better”, make an empowering choice to be different, or see things differently, and you will feel better.
You don’t need to give your power away by expecting your partner to be someone other than who they are. You have no control over them, but you do have control over yourself.
When you get this, and apply it in your relationship, it is soooooo liberating! You’ll start to feel much better about yourself and your ability to make wise choices. You’ll begin gaining more clarity about whether you really want to make your relationship work or you really want to let it go with love.
The Choice to Stay or Go
When making choices, it’s common to get caught up in our past and think we need to make our decisions based on former experiences. That’s where so many of us get stuck and have a hard time moving forward.
Your future is not determined by your past. It’s determined by the choices you make in each and every moment.
You can change everything by simply making a different choice. And when you choose to make a decision based on honesty, love, integrity and respect, and commit to following through on that decision, you set yourself up for success.
If you want to make a clear choice about whether to stay or go in your current relationship, consider the fact that there are only two sides to this coin.
Side #1: If you truly want to make your relationship work, exercise your freedom by committing to do everything within your power to make that happen.
If you don’t know where to begin, give yourself permission to ask for support from a professional who can help you.
Side #2: If you’re ready to let your relationship go, you can exercise your freedom by committing to learn how to to do so with integrity, honesty and respect.
Even if a romantic relationship doesn’t last forever, the people in it still deserve honesty and respect. And when you know you’ve done your best, you won’t carry unhealthy patterns into your future relationships and you won’t have any doubts about whether or not you tried hard enough.
Clearly, it takes two to tango. But even if your partner isn’t yet willing to participate in making healthy changes, you can still take the lead on your heart’s desires.
The Freedom in Being Yourself
International bestselling author and spiritual teacher Don Miguel Ruiz said: “The freedom we are looking for is the freedom to be ourselves.” And so, I invite you to take a moment to ask yourself, “when it comes to my relationships, do I feel free to be me?” If you don’t, you have the opportunity to change that in any given moment.
Speaking from my own experience and the experience of the women I’ve coached, the moment you are willing to show up for yourself – the moment you are willing to let go of ideas and behaviors that keep you feeling stuck – is the moment you begin receiving the guidance you’ve been seeking all along.
The Universe is always guiding us, but if we’re too busy blaming others and feeling like victims, we won’t be able to hear what It’s telling us.
The choice is yours…are you ready to be who you want to be, live the life you want to live, and have the relationship you want to be in?
As a gift of encouragement, and a thank you for being a Healthy Path to Love subscriber, for this month only, I’m offering 20% off my HEALTHY Path Process program. That’s $400 off an incredibly valuable and transformative program that, should you choose to accept this mission, will add so much freedom to your life!
This comprehensive program is a step-by-step process specifically designed to give you the structure, support and guidance needed to put an end to the vicious cycle of ‘should I stay or should I go?’
Let’s get you feeling confident, clear and FREE! All you have to do is send an email to firstname.lastname@example.org (or contact me here) and say “I’m interested in learning more about The HEALTHY Path Process!” I’ll follow-up and let you know what the next step is.
Or, if you’re ready to get started right now, simply use this link to schedule a Q&A call to see if the program is a good fit for you. Together we will put the HEALTHY pieces in place for you. I’m ready when you are!
Cheers to freedom!
Stay tuned for more mindful messages and other valuable resources – giving you helpful insights, tips and exercises to improve the quality of your life and relationships.
With love and support,
Healthy Relationship Coach
Licensed Heal Your Life® Coach