With Valentine’s Day just a few days away, it’s difficult to ignore the extra focus on romantic love. This can be a good thing…if you’re feeling loveable and loving. But if you’re feeling disconnected and unfulfilled in your romantic relationship, Valentine’s Day might be a celebration you’d rather avoid.
I know how this feels…and I want you to know that it’s perfectly okay to feel this way. Women are prone to feeling guilty about the idea of hurting their partner’s feelings, and will even sacrifice and disrespect their own feelings to avoid that possibility.
Being real about your feelings is not something to feel guilty about. If you’re just not feelin’ the love right now, honor those feelings…they’re there for a reason.
Respect yourself and your partner enough to be honest about not wanting to force a celebration that doesn’t feel authentic. If you missed last week’s message, I included a podcast that talks about this very subject. Go here to listen: http://herahub.com/resources/catherine-dietz-founder-of-a-healthy-path-to-love/.
And…just because you may not want to celebrate Valentine’s Day with your romantic partner, that doesn’t mean you can’t celebrate love at all. In fact, I encourage you to use this opportunity to love yourself up! And I’ve got some great tips on how to do that.
How to Love Yourself Up
What do I mean by ‘love yourself up’? I mean give yourself the love that you seek. Appreciate who you are. Acknowledge all that you do. Soothe yourself when feeling upset. Give yourself a hug. Make yourself a delicious meal. Spend time doing things that bring joy to your heart.
One of the many beauties of learning how to love yourself is that you no longer feel dependent on someone else to give it you. You can give it to yourself at any given moment. And when other people do give it to you, it’s just icing on the cake!
Before you jump to the conclusion that loving yourself is self-centered or mumbo jumbo, I respectfully challenge you to try it for yourself. To help you get started, my gift of love to you is a guide to initiating this empowering journey. Enjoy!
10 Tips From the Queen of Self-Love
If you’ve ever heard of Louise Hay, best selling author of ‘You Can Heal Your Life’ (and many other books), you know that she’s the queen of self-love. And here are 10 of her tips on:
How to Love Yourself
- Stop all criticism. Criticism never changes a thing. Refuse to criticize yourself. Accept yourself exactly as you are. Everybody changes. When you criticize yourself, your changes are negative. When you approve of yourself, your changes are positive.
- Don’t scare yourself. Stop terrorizing yourself with your thoughts. It’s a dreadful way to live. Find a mental image that gives you pleasure (mine is yellow roses), and immediately switch your scary thought to a pleasure thought.
- Be gentle and kind and patient. Be gentle with yourself. Be kind to yourself. Be patient with yourself as you learn the new ways of thinking. Treat yourself as you would someone you really love.
- Be kind to your mind. Self-hatred is only hating your own thoughts. Don’t hate yourself for having the thoughts. Gently change the thoughts.
- Praise yourself. Criticism breaks the inner spirit. Praise builds it up. Praise yourself as much as you can. Tell yourself how well you are doing with every little thing.
- Support yourself. Find ways to support yourself. Reach out to friends and allow them to help you. It is being strong to ask for help when you need it.
- Be loving to your negatives. Acknowledge that you created them to fulfill a need. Now you are finding new, positive ways to fulfill those needs. So, lovingly release the old negative patterns.
- Take care of your body. Learn about nutrition. What kind of fuel does your body need to have optimum energy and vitality? Learn about exercise. What kind of exercise can you enjoy? Cherish and revere the temple you live in.
- Mirror work. Look into your own eyes often. Express this growing sense of love you have for yourself. Forgive yourself looking into the mirror. Talk to you parents looking into the mirror. Forgive them, too. At least once a day, say: “I love you, I really love you!”
- LOVE YOURSELF – DO IT NOW! Don’t wait for until you get well, or lose weight, or get the new job, or the new relationship. Begin NOW – do the best you can.
Tips on Following These Tips
These tips are easy enough to understand, but you may find that putting them into action is less than straightforward! Practice makes progress, right? So I encourage you to apply at least one or two of them in your everyday life as often as possible. For example:
- When you catch your mind making up stories, try tip #2
- When you get mad at yourself for something you did ‘wrong’, try tip #1
- When you try tip #9 and feel awkward, go to tip #3
If you follow these tips for the next 7 days in a row (and beyond), I guarantee you’ll feel lighter. And…you’ll have the added bonus of connecting more deeply to the part of you that already knows you are worthy of true love. This will automatically help you improve the quality of your life and relationships – it’s awesome!
A Guilt-Free Celebration
Buddha said: “You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” So, instead of feeling guilty about not wanting to celebrate Valentine’s Day with your partner, feel good about choosing to be honest and respectful about your feelings, and celebrate the love that you are.
Stay tuned for more mindful messages. Giving you helpful tips and exercises to improve the quality of your life and relationships!
With love and support,
Healthy Relationship Coach
P.S. Looking for additional support? Talking with someone who can be objective about your relationships struggles, and knowing that you’re being truly heard, can help you feel a whole lot lighter and start moving toward your relationship goals! Go here to learn more and to schedule your complimentary Relationship Breakthrough Session.