Growth Hurts Because Change Isn't EasyAre You Experiencing Growing Pains?

As we wrap up this month’s theme of growth and taking the necessary steps toward the goals you have for your romantic relationship (whatever those may be), I’d like to give you some food for thought for the weekend.

Change requires growth, and growth is sometimes not easy. In fact, some growth is downright painful, especially when it affects the way you feel about a key relationship you have come to rely upon as a source of connection, stability and enjoyment.

Romantic relationships are powerful regardless of their current state. If yours is in a state of harmony, I imagine that it feels awesome. On the flip side, if there’s conflict, it’s still powerful, but I’m betting it feels awful. Either way, there is power to use to your advantage.

Even if you believe your partner is the one at fault for the conflict in your relationship, you must take responsibility for the part you play. After all, conflict takes more than one person, right?

Perhaps you’ve allowed him or her to treat you poorly or not consider your needs a priority. Or maybe your connection fizzled out a long time ago, but you didn’t know what to do and didn’t want to create problems, so you just accepted it with a feeling of defeat.

Or maybe you’re the one at fault, but you have a hard time admitting it. Whatever the issues may be between you and your partner, you do play a role in the equation, and the first step toward any type of healthy change is accepting that responsibility.

Tony Robbins said: “change occurs when the pain of staying the same is worse than the pain of change”. This is SO true!

There are a LARGE number of people who are willing to stay in an unfulfilling relationship because the thought of change is too scary. But there will come a time for many of those people when the pain of settling for less than what they know they deserve will be greater than the fear of change.

So if you’re questioning your relationship and wondering whether or not you want to stay in it, here are a few questions to consider:

  • How would you define a healthy relationship…what does that look like for you?
  • Do you think you deserve to be in a healthy relationship?
  • Are you willing to face the truth of what’s working and what’s not working?
  • Are you willing to accept responsibility for your part in what’s not working?
  • Are you willing to change and start moving in a different direction?

These questions require you to get real with yourself…even if it hurts! The good news is…pain is a huge motivator for change, so be willing to embrace the discomfort.

It may not seem like it at the moment, but you are perfectly capable of going through difficult changes, and my guess is you’ve already been through many.

You are stronger than you think. Give yourself the honesty and respect you deserve. And give yourself permission to ask for help when you need it.

Yes, change can be painful, but it’s only temporary and it’s far better than the alternative of living unhappily ever after.

Stay tuned for more mindful messages. Giving you helpful tips and exercises to improve the quality of your life and relationships!

With love and support,

Catherine Dietz
Healthy Relationship Coach
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P.S. If you’re looking for the support you need to help ease some of those growing pains and find the best way to move forward, I’d love to talk with you about your possibilities. Contact me here to set up a time to connect.