Spring has sprung! And one of the best things about this season is the spectacular example Nature shows us about growth, renewal and transformation – it’s beautiful and inspiring!
Just like Nature, we (and the relationships we choose to be in) are designed to grow and blossom. But we often stifle our growth due to fear of change and uncertainty.
Shifts/changes/growth happen no matter what. And when we willingly choose to grow through life, we gain confidence in our ability to handle life’s challenges and our journey becomes more and more enjoyable.
But when we merely go through life, and resist making changes and improvements, we often throw obstacles on our path and are eventually ‘forced’ into making needed adjustments (example: after months or even years of lack of communication and connection in a relationship, one partner cheats on the other and then they’re ‘forced’ to face their issues).
In other words, when sh*t happens, shifts happen. But you don’t have to wait for the sh*t to happen. Instead, you can make needed changes now and save yourself from unnecessary pain and suffering.
Realize Your Potential
Imagine this…two caterpillars were crawling along a tree branch one day when a butterfly flew overhead. One caterpillar said to the other, “You will never get me up in one of those things.” (from Robert Holden’s “Shift Happens”)
And so it is with human potential. Much like the caterpillar thinking it could resist its innate nature to transform into a butterfly, human beings often resist their natural potential to transform into their fullest expression. However much we might resist, the truth remains:
- We were designed by the same power that created the acorn. One small acorn transforms into a mighty oak tree. A caterpillar transforms into a butterfly, etc.
- Our bodies contain trillions of cells, each cell having its own specific purpose governed by an Intelligence far greater than the human mind. Think about how many thousands of times your heart beats throughout each day without you giving any conscious awareness or direction to it.
- We were created by the same Universal energy that holds the planets in space…and our feet on the ground!
So why is it then that some human beings resist, and even deny, their innate ability to evolve, while others move from resistance to persistence and make things happen?
Speaking from my own experience, and knowing this rings true for MANY, it wasn’t until I moved from my limiting beliefs of low self-worth – to acknowledging my true value – that I could operate from a place of freedom instead of restriction.
And it wasn’t until after I moved from the false idea that things happen to me (as if I’m a victim of having no control) – to an understanding that things happen through me – that I began to truly embrace the responsibility I have for my choices and their effects.
In other words, shifts happened. I could have been the caterpillar that resisted its abilities by continuing to listen to my inner-saboteur. But my inner-champion knew better, and after falling into the pits of pain far too many times, I finally listened to it and began my climb out.
Ascending Out of the Painful Pits
If you’re like me and many others, staying in an unhealthy romantic relationship is often the path that leads you to these painful pits. And without consciously doing so, you might end up digging yourself deeper and deeper into that pit before you’re ready to climb out.
But the good news is, you CAN dig yourself out! Grab a shovel and I’ll show you how going with the flow of changes will make the ascension out of the pit a whole lot easier.
In addition to realizing your potential, the first thing to acknowledge and accept is that shifts are continually happening in your life, whether you like it or not.
- seasons change
- relationships change
- job positions change
- the state of your health changes
- the price of gas changes almost every day!
You get the picture. There are ebbs and flows, ups and downs, times of moving forward and times of taking a step back. There’s nothing you can do to stop this natural process. But you can consciously participate in this process by asking yourself:
- Am I going with the flow of change, or against it?
- Am I feeling at ease and generally optimistic about my life, or stifled and discouraged from even trying?
The biggest obstacle impeding the natural flow of change is our resistance to it.
When you resist change, even (and especially) when you don’t like the status quo, you are depleting your energy by attempting to control something that cannot be controlled. This can be exhausting and discouraging!
On the other hand, when you accept change, even if that means moving out of your comfort zone of familiarity, you can consciously direct your energy toward how you’re responding to this change.
Your response IS something you can control, and the more you exercise this power, the stronger it will become.
Choose to Feel Empowered Instead of Powerless
For example, let’s say you and your partner, for the most part, have always gotten along. You both feel really good about your relationship, and your ability to connect is effortless. This feels awesome and you’d like it to stay this way forever.
Then, over the years, you start moving in different directions as individuals. You don’t have the same common interests that you used to, and your ability to connect is often short-lived despite your best efforts.
The internal dialogue may go something like this: Wait a second!! Things were going so great, and I was feeling good about the health of our relationship. This lack of connection thing wasn’t supposed to happen! Make it go back to the way it was…it was so much easier and more enjoyable.’
With this attitude of resistance, you feel disappointed and powerless. And soon your energy is consumed with making useless efforts trying to make it go back to the way it was.
But guess what? You can’t make it go back to the way it was. The two of you are in a different place now, and you can only move forward – and out of a place of resistance – if you accept the fact that your relationship has shifted.
From this place of acceptance, even though you may not like what’s happening, you can make a conscious choice as to how you will respond.
Ask yourself, what can I do that’s within my power to shift the relationship into a better state of health? Not back to the way it was, but to a place in which I can work on the relationship and needed changes with honesty, respect and love.
Changes don’t have to be as difficult as we make them out to be. We have WAY more power than we give ourselves credit for! And we can always choose to feel empowered instead of powerless.
You can choose to use your power to go against the changes in your life, digging your heels in and feeling depleted as you sink deeper and deeper into a place of stress and resentment.
OR – and I highly recommend this option – you can choose to use your power to acknowledge and accept change for what it is and respond to it in the healthiest way possible.
What do you choose? Choosing to go with the flow will make a HUGE difference in your quality of life. And acquiring the tools to learn how will help you move forward with strength, determination and progress!
If you’re ready to move from resistance to persistence toward needed improvements in your relationship, I’m here to help! You don’t have to go through this alone, and I’d love to guide and support you however I can.
To learn more about the services and resources I offer, feel free to contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org or schedule your free 30-minute Relationship Breakthrough Session here.
Remember, you and the quality of your life matter. And you don’t have to wait for sh*t to happen for shifts to happen.
Stay tuned for more mindful messages and other valuable resources – giving you helpful tips and exercises to improve the quality of your life and relationships!
With love and support,
Healthy Relationship Coach
Licensed Heal Your Life® Coach
P.S. My ‘HEALTHY Path Process free video training series: 8 Steps to Know…Should I Stay or Should I Go?‘ will be coming to a computer screen near you soon ;-). I’m so excited to deliver this “baby” and provide even more guidance and support to women who feel stuck in an unfulfilling relationship. Stay tuned for showtimes!!