Do you trust yourself? It may seem like a silly question, but when I hear people say they have a hard time trusting, I often wonder if they trust themselves.
In asking yourself that question, here are a few more to consider:
- What does trust mean to you? The dictionary defines trust as: “reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, surety, etc. of a person or thing”. What’s YOUR meaning?
- How do you feel when you really trust someone or something? Safe, secure, protected, loved? Use your own words to describe this.
- How do you feel when you don’t trust? Unsure, vulnerable, anxious, on-guard, unsettled? Again, use your own words.
Now, with your answers in mind, let me ask again…do you trust yourself?
For many years of my life, I didn’t. I ignored my inner voice and was dishonest with myself and others, which resulted in poor choices.
This wasn’t intentional or malicious on my part…I just didn’t yet believe in myself and my own worth. I was doing the best I could at that time.
Thankfully, my inner voice continued to get louder and louder and I finally listened.
For years, the feelings of instability and pain in my life, especially in my romantic relationship, were telling me LOUD AND CLEAR that I had to quit running from my problems and face my fears. But that was way too scary at the time!
I didn’t know how to face my fears. I didn’t know how to make positive changes. I didn’t know how to trust myself.
So how did I move through this fear? How did I find the courage to quit running? How did I learn to trust myself?
On some level, I knew from the start that I was in an unhealthy relationship. But I was so insecure at the time, and getting attention from a man (even though it wasn’t always nice) made me feel wanted and important.
That soon turned into a committed relationship, followed by years of unhealthy patterns and emotional abuse. The fear from my insecurities was so strong that I wasn’t willing to listen to the part of me that was telling me how loveable I am, just as I am!
When the pain of staying in the relationship was eventually greater than the fear of moving out of it, the wisdom of my soul was right there to guide me. I stopped resisting what I already knew at a deep level, and I allowed myself to be guided by that insight.
I knew I had to stop listening to what everyone on the outside was telling me, and start listening to the voice on the inside. And even though this decision felt empowering, it was not easy!
I had been stuck in my own unhealthy patterns for a long time and now it was time to dissolve those patterns and create new ones in their place. If I wanted different results, I knew I couldn’t keep trying the same “solutions” that had never worked before!
Creating new beliefs and patterns that would teach me how to trust myself took time, patience, diligence and many “teachers”…..and it was WELL worth it. As I opened my heart to listening to the wisdom of my soul, I was naturally led to the right books, workshops, counselors, etc.
I’ve been doing this for over 10 years now and the more I continue to do this, the more I trust…it’s beautiful! My life is so much lighter than it used to be and I now feel very confident in trusting my inner voice and the choices I make.
You too have this inner voice…it’s known as your soul, and it knows way more about the real you than anyone else does. I invite you to notice this voice, acknowledge it and listen to its wisdom.
You’ll know you’re listening to it when your life gets better. This is how we’re designed…to learn and operate from the truth of who we really are…underneath all of the ‘fluff’ of human conditioning.
The truth of who you really are is: you are valuable just as you are, and you are worthy of love, peace and joy in your life! You’re awesome and you are here for a reason. Please honor that truth, believe in that truth and learn to trust it.
Trust is the theme for this month. And because it plays such a significant role in the health of your relationships and the fulfillment of your life, I encourage you to dive deeper into what trust means for you.
Stay tuned for more information and tips. It is an honor to share these messages with you, and I trust they are making a positive difference!
Healthy Relationship Coach
P.S. Do you have specific trust issues you’d like to discuss? Feel free to contact me – I would love to connect with you!
P.P.S. If you’ve missed the last few messages on ‘trust’, click here for easy access.