efforts-and-courage-are-not-enough-without-purpose-and-direction-2Do You Have the Courage to Do This?

The subject of courage has A LOT to it. And most of us would like more of it! So let’s get courageous and dive deeper into how courage applies to your romantic relationship.

This week’s quote from John F. Kennedy is a great place to start: Efforts and courage are not enough without purpose and direction.

I would say the opposite is true as well…purpose and direction are not enough without efforts and courage. So what exactly does this mean? And how can you apply it to your romantic relationship?

Purpose and Direction
First, let’s talk about purpose and direction…which are both essential for a fulfilling life, right? Without a purpose, what would be the meaning? And without direction, how would you get there?

When it comes to the health of your romantic relationship, one of the most empowering questions you can ask yourself, especially in times of conflict, is: What is the purpose of this relationship? Why am I in it? I explore this in great detail in my article called “What Exactly Are You Committed To?”.

When your relationship feels less than harmonious, and you’re confused about what to do to make it better, remembering why you’re with your partner and what you’re committed to will help you gain clarity.

A lot of people don’t seriously consider this question…they merely think “I’m committed to making it work.” But what does that really mean? Diving deeper into that question and getting super clear on your answer will help you figure out which direction you want to take and the steps needed to get there.

For example, when I was struggling in a former romantic relationship, I was really confused about which way to go. I still loved my partner and wanted to make it work, but our connection had been lacking and we couldn’t seem to find a way to reconnect in a way that worked for both of us.

I had to step back and examine what my commitment to this relationship was, and question whether or not I was doing everything I could within my power to stay true to that commitment.

This question led me to realize that my commitment was to stay healthy. In other words, I wasn’t willing to stay in a relationship just for the sake of staying in it because I said I would. I was willing to stay in the relationship if, and only if, it felt healthy.

So then I had to determine what “healthy” meant to me. And for me, it means being honest, being respectful and always operating from a place of love…for my partner AND myself.

This led me to realize that I wasn’t being completely honest with myself about some of the issues we had struggled with for a long time, and this was a huge factor in our disconnect. Once I started honoring what I truly needed to feel good about being in this relationship, I had to share what I discovered with my partner.

It was one of the hardest things I ever had to do, but it felt so freeing to be honest about what was really going on…and to me, that was also being respectful and acting with love for both of us.

Efforts and Courage
What are you willing to examine in your relationship? It takes effort and courage to face unresolved issues, and it may be a painful transition once you do, but the pain of staying in an unfulfilling relationship is much greater.

Maybe there’s something you’re not happy about, but you’ve been stuffing it down to avoid more conflict. If that’s the case, then consider this: Settling for less than what you truly want and need in this incredibly significant relationship has a huge influence on the quality of your life.

Your life is yours to live, and you deserve to have an amazing life. It’s up to you to be true to yourself in your romantic relationship – no one else can do that for you.

I know that you and the quality of your life matter. And because I care about you and the health of your relationship, my invitation and request to you is this – do one thing today in your relationship that takes courage. And if you don’t already have an idea in mind, here are some options to consider:

  • Take some time to sit down with yourself and get crystal clear on what you’re committed to in your relationship. Is it staying together no matter what? Or is it staying together if doing so continues to feel honest, loving and respectful (or whatever core values mean the most to you)?
  • Prepare yourself for a conversation that you need to have with your partner that you’ve been avoiding, and then respectfully ask him or her for some uninterrupted time to talk about something important to your relationship.
  • If you’re afraid of having a certain conversation, or if you’re avoiding facing your relationship issues, ask yourself why? What will happen if you continue to stuff it down? What can you do to take one step in a new direction?

Every couple and every relationship is different. I’m not here to tell you what your relationship should be. But I am here to encourage you and support you in being true to yourself in your relationship.

When you stop being true to yourself, it’s easy to feel lost. And when you feel lost, it’s sometimes hard to find your way back to your heart’s true desires. I’m here to remind you that there is a way back, and you can find your way…if you’re willing.

If you’re feeling lost and could use some support and guidance, click here to take advantage of your free Relationship Breakthrough Session. Let’s do this together. I would love to help you find your way!

Stay tuned for more mindful messages. Giving you helpful tips and exercises to improve the quality of your life and relationships!

With love and support,

Catherine Dietz
Healthy Relationship Coach
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