- How many times have you said you were going to do something, only to find that 3 months later, you still haven’t done it?
- How many times have you and your partner argued, come to an agreement that ‘this has to change!’, and 6 months later, you find yourself having the same argument?
- And how many times have you said: ‘That’s it, I’m never letting that happen again”, and yet you find yourself experiencing the same pain over and over?
It’s okay…I’m not beating you up over this. I’ve been there many times myself, and my guess is you’ve already beat yourself up plenty.
What I am doing though is pointing out the obvious: if the approach you’re taking isn’t yielding the results you want, why are you still doing it that way? Some refer to this as the definition of insanity…and you might sometimes feel like you’re actually going insane.
If you had a clear path to taking a different approach – one that would get different results – would you be willing to try it?
Adding New Tools to Your Toolbox
It definitely takes strength and courage to change direction in your romantic relationship, especially if it’s in uncharted territory. The key is to equip yourself with the necessary tools to develop a consistent practice to build your inner strength.
As this week’s quote says, “It is within yourself that you will find the strength you need.” ~ Unknown Author
Once you start to develop and strengthen that ‘inner muscle’, you feel stronger, have a better relationship with yourself, and feel empowered instead of defeated.
And since it’s about your inner strength, here’s a simple way to remember an awesome tool that will help you: I, I, I…it’s all about me (you’re saying this to yourself).
Intention, Integrity and Inspiration
Since you are in the driver’s seat of your life, YOU get to decide where you want to go, and these 3 I’s will help you get there:
Intention: What is your overall intention for your romantic relationship? In other words, what are your must-haves? Your core values? It could be as simple as wanting to have more fun together, or it could be as fundamental as needing to find healthier ways to communicate. Once you have identified a clear intention, your choices become much easier.
If you’re struggling with whether or not you want to stay with your partner, what is your intention with how you want to handle your decision and how you go about communicating with your partner?
Even if you don’t stay together as a couple, you can still communicate with honesty and respect…is this part of your intention?
Integrity: Integrity and intention work VERY well together. Choosing what you want and need is so much easier when you stay true to your intention, and you’ll be rewarded with inner peace and conviction in your actions.
For example, if my intention is to spend more quality time with my partner on the weekends, and my friend asks me to hang out with her instead, as tempted as I might be, I get to use this opportunity to honor my intention and strengthen my muscle for effective change and a better connection with my partner.
Again, even if you don’t believe you’ll stay together as a couple, you can still practice integrity with how you handle the break-up. Even if your partner is acting out of integrity, you’re building your inner strength, not his.
Inspiration: Finding things that inspire you is one of the best ways to build your inner strength and keep you moving forward even when obstacles get in the way.
Your source of inspiration is unique to you, so be sure to honor whatever that is. Creating a daily routine to include your source of inspiration will help you develop healthy habits, reduce stress and promote presence and peace of mind.
Personally, I absolutely love reading or listening to spiritual messages. I do this daily and it helps me stay grounded and connected to what matters most. I am also very inspired by nature. If I’m feeling out-of-sorts, a walk in nature always makes me feel better.
How to Apply This is Your Relationship
So, what are your 3 I’s? I encourage you to make some time in the next few days to figure this out for yourself. Connecting with your own inner strength and power is a beautiful thing. It’s always there, but it’s up to you to tap into it and let it surge.
As with any new practice – when trying to apply something that we don’t yet have a lot of experience with – consistency is key.
By consistently applying these “I” principles, you’ll find that you start to change the way you look at things. You’ll feel more empowerment and less frustration, more clarity and less confusion, and more confidence and less stress. And this will help you make effective changes, and start feeling sane again. Sound good? Cheers to your inner strength!
Stay tuned for more mindful messages and other valuable resources – giving you helpful insights, tips and exercises to improve the quality of your life and relationships.
With love and support,
Healthy Relationship Coach
P.S. Need some additional support to help you build that inner strength for effective and positive change? Contact me today to schedule for your free Relationship Breakthrough Session.